Taking a step back..

Today I learned to take a step back and look at my actions and the effect on others, before responding.  My HOH and i were having a intense chat via the internet regarding our rules and expectations.  My initial knee jerk reaction was to get upset and want to lash out, I didn't like what he was saying or how the rules have been making me feel. Instead I took a deep breath and thought about what I was wanting to accomplish with DD and then used that to help calm me and keep me focused on communicating.  Sounds so easy to type...but not so easy to do in reality. Several times I took a deep breath and walked away, calmed down and then came back keeping a respectful tone but still staying true to my feelings and needs.  The end result is, it was worth it! We talked, he listened and when the conversation ended I felt like we had taken a giant step forward in the right direction.

Our Domestic Discipline Rules

Rules

1. When told to do something you will do it immediately and expect and accept punishment if you fail to follow my instructions.

a. My obligation in return is that I will allow a reasonable amount of discussion (complaint), so long as it is done respectfully, and that during this time of discussion that you will continue to prepare to do that which you have been instructed to do. (I offer this because I know that sometimes you need to talk about it to work it through in your head and make it ok).

2. Always refer to the Head of Household, with respect, as Daddy, never *****(first name) or any derogatory name. (Exceptions:you may use ***** if it is an emergency in which you need my immediate attention, and you may also you ***** in varying degrees if the family or social situation dictates a need to do so, but even in these times you must be respectful.)

a. My obligation in return is that I will always refer to you as my girl or baby girl, and that I will discipline you any time you fail to address me properly.

3. Always be respectful to your Daddy in actions, words and deed. This means no cursing or calling Daddy bad names, no mocking, and no refusal when Daddy asks you to come sit on his knee and talk.

a. My obligation in return is that I will give you my undivided attention when you wish to speak with me, if I feel and point out that you are not being respectful, and it is truthfully because I was not giving you my full attention there will be no punishment (but it will be expected that if I focus and give you my undivided attention any disrespectful behavior will stop as well).

4. No mind consumption of alcohol without permission.

a. My obligation in return is that I will not withhold permission unreasonably and that permission will never be withheld as a punishment.

 5. Eat healthy, and ensure your Daddy eats healthy as well.

a. My obligation in return is that our daily meals at home will be your domain. You will have complete control over this aspect of our lives with one exception.  Each week I will chose a place and time to take you out for a meal. I will let you know when this will occur well in advance and let you know proper attire for this meal.

6. Reading/Relaxing – jointly we will agree on a time each day that is just girl time to read, relax, play. During this time you will read, play on your ipad or computer, watch tv, or nap.  This period will occur for one hour each day at an agreed upon time.

a. My obligation in return is that I will not expect or request that you do anything that is for my benefit during this time.  You will never be chastised or criticized for taking this time, and I will stop you and encourage you to take this time if we are in each others presence when this occurs.  Additionally, if our plans for the day are going to impact you time, we will work out an agreed upon alternate time for that to happen.(Current agreed time 3-4 MTTHFSaS)

7. Each week you will take some time to blog, journal, or otherwise chronicle you experiences in DD.

a. My obligation in return is that I will allow you the freedom to not share your daily blog if you feel you are unable to do so.  You will hover be required to let me know each day how much you wrote, and the general topic of discussion. (i.e. Daddy, today I wrote one page in my blog on the topic of corporal punishment).

8. Twice a month you will get a manicure and pedicure. It will be your responsibility to set up a time to make this happen every other week.

a. My obligation in return is that I will take care of the cost of the manicure or pedicure, and will discipline you if you fail to take the time each week to make this happen.

9. Bedtime for girl on week nights will be no later than 10:30. (There will be no set bedtime on weekends).

a. My obligation in return will be to ensure that anything that I am requesting you do for me (i.e. sex, talk, chore etc…) is approached in a manner that allows us to continue to honor your bed time.

10. Share everything with your Daddy, without exception, this means financial issues, problems, concerns, things that make you happy, and things that make you sad.  Know that, with the exception of the blog described above, that your Daddy will have complete and total freedom to look at your emails, any profiles, any mail, chat etc.

a. My obligation in return is that I will not chastise or criticizes in any way, but instead will sit down and discuss with you how to address any problem or implement anything into our dynamic that excites you or makes you happy, so long as I determine that it is not damaging to either of us individually or together

The Beginning

My Husband and I have been married for a few years before we made a choice together to explore Domestic Discipline. For us it is the natural evolution of our relationship, even though I am scared of the coming changes I am also anxious to embrace them. I worry that I will fail or not live up to my His expectations but I know that it is only my fear talking.

We are in the early stages and still laying the foundation of rules, punishments and acceptable behavior. More to come as it unfolds!